I Probably Will Do It Again

          "Shut up." I mumbled, turning towards the suddenly interesting racks of clothing.
          "No really, Tanya, you're adorable when you're flustered."
          I rolled my eyes and cinched my scarf tighter around my face. "Andrew. Stop it."
         "No, no. I mean it. The way you blush? It is the cutest thing." He said, and I knew he was grinning. I just knew it. Ugh. I carefully fingered a cute flowery flannel shirt in front of me, deciding it was best to ignore him. If I showed no reaction he would probably - Well, hopefully - leave me alone. For a few blessed minutes of silence, I thought I had succeeded, until,
         "Oh, my goodness Tanya. Are you cold?" 
         "Um... Yes?" I muttered, furrowing my eyebrows at him.
         "Well, why didn't you say something earlier?" Andrew grabbed my hand, sending tingles up my arm, then pulled me towards him, wrapping me up in a hug.
         "Andrew!" I froze, my arms refusing to move. He was... Well, he was really warm. And he smelled really, really good, and... I didn't exactly want to leave. I wanted to stay there, wrapped in his arms, forever and ever. I wanted him to always protect me from the cold and anything else that threatened me, and-
         "Feeling warmer?" He whispered, his soft voice laced with amusement.
         Aaaaand the spell was broken. He was teasing me. Teasing me!
         "Ugh!" I pushed him away and marched for the store exit. "You are completely unbearable." With frustration creeping through all of me, I cursed my stupid reactions. I had to let everything he did affect me, didn't I?
         "No, no. Tanya, come back. Come on. Please." I could hear him behind me, chuckling, as he walked towards the exit. I picked up my pace. He had the nerve to chuckle? No. You just- No. I shoved my fisted hands into my jacket pockets and kept walking down the mall, not quite sure where I was going. Just, away from that horribly presumptuous, and entirely annoying man - no, boy - that was currently following me.
         Andrew's hand grasped my arm just as I was turning down to the food court.
         "Tanya, I'm sorry. I won't do it again."
         I turned to look at him, giving him my best, Are you kidding me? face. He burst out laughing, throwing his head back and crinkling his eyes, because he knew I was right. He certainly would do it again, and I could almost guarantee it would be more than once.
         "Okay. You're right. I probably will do it again." His lips twitched like they always did when he was trying to hold back a grin. "But I am sorry."

The Storm

Boom!

Thunder rumbles across the sky, bringing with it a spattering of rain and the beginnings of a storm. A large drop of water falls onto my ear as wind buffets around me, causing shivers to course throughout my body.

Boom!

My hair gets caught in the wind where it's sent sprawling into my face. I secure a hand over my hair to keep it in place as the slow patter of rain steadily turns into a torrent of water, and I imagine that the sky is crying for me. Crying for me because I can't.

I lean my head back against the wood and pull my arms closer, rocking back and forth, back and forth. I wish, suddenly, that I could say I was dreaming. That I could pretend it never happened. I wish that I could just push you out of my heart like I usually do... But today, I'm too tired.

Drip drip drip drip drip.

I watch vigilantly the steady fall of rain from the roof of wood under which I'm situated, and feel the memory of you burning throughout my mind, consuming my thoughts. Not even the cool wind and icy rain could make the fire die down. No. With every boom or clap of thunder the flames grow higher and higher, although I'm shivering. 

I turn my face up to the sky, tears finally making an appearance as I remember your smile, your laugh. Your arms wrapped around me. Your words and your love... Your life. The fire finds my heart and drops like a heavy anvil onto the tender, tight strings. You... You are gone. I will never hear your voice again, I'll never see your eyes. Never will I be able to tell you I love you. I'll never be able to thank you for what you've done. What you mean, no, meant to me.

My breath catches and I have to remind myself to breathe. To not get choked on the flames of your life. I lift my head from between my knees and realize that, like your heart, the storm has stopped. All that's left are the afterthoughts. Small scents and sounds and sensations that remind me that it was here.

I wipe the last of my tears away, becoming numb again - Numb to life. Numb to the pain. Numb to the burning - and hop off of my perch, my face blank as I watch water drip from the leaves and onto the sodden ground.

The storm, has ended.


~E.K.M.